I’m a dancing fucking queenPosted on February 16th, 2012 @ 11:00 pm
I have a lot of trouble dancing. I know a lot of people say that, but I really do. I feel like dancing is supposed to be something natural and simple. Something engrained into our very genes. When I see other people dance it’s as if they are being guided by the beats of the music themselves.
But me…not so much.
When I hear the music and start to move it’s as if I lose function of half my brain. I’ll start with my hips; slowly swaying until I can match the beat. Once I’m finally confident of my sexy booty shaking is when I realize my arms have been hanging like dead weights the whole time.
Ok, time to do something with my hands. Going along with my friends I awkwardly flail my arms above my head. Oh wait…but now my legs aren’t moving.
Apparently I am only able to move one body part at a time. And wherever I put these parts always seems to be the wrong place.
Haters be hating.
I know I haven’t been updating much…slash like in six months. I’ve been really weird lately. Like…super critical of everything I do. My anxiety is just out of control and I feel like nothing is ever good enough. Like there is something wrong with everything and that is the only thing I can focus on.
BUT ENOUGH. I don’t care if it’s not perfect. I love you guys and I want to entertain. I want to make you laugh.
PS did you notice how smooth my lines were? For my birthday my boy bought me a tablet and SAI and now I can do things like…
Technology fuck yeah.
the fucking f wordPosted on August 25th, 2011 @ 11:25 pm
Everything is almost up and running but I thought I’d put this new post live a little early. :) Enjoy my loves!
So there is this word. The f-word. I really don’t like it. I know, I use it all the time here on my blog, but that’s out of necessity. Things are fucking funnier with that word.
In real life I’ve never actually said the word. Ok that’s a lie – but to be fair I don’t remember it. Apparently when I was 3 years old I came walking into the kitchen itching my back and I say to my mom, “I hate these FUCKING tags.”
I got my mouth washed out with soap etc etc and I haven’t ever said it again. Why you ask? I don’t really know. I just figured I’ve gone so long without saying it I might as well save it for a special occasion. Like getting my leg cut off. If I accidently had my leg chopped off…that would be a pretty good time to say it.
Whenever I eventually chose to say it, it would be for something important. I wasn’t just going to waste my all-powerful F-bomb. I was going to use it for good, not evil.
Except…I was an idiot.
Last week I did something SO DUMB. I was showing Vincent a picture of my dead cat Picasso.
I had wasted it. It was like I had used a 100 year perfect bottle of wine to wash my feet. My F-bomb was gone, just like that. My leg wasn’t chopped off. My car didn’t fall off a cliff. I hadn’t walked into my parents having sex. I was looking at a picture. Of my dead cat.
UGH. It was so dumb. Anyway since then I am dropping F-bombs left and right. All the pent-up fucks from all the times I stepped on a lego or had slept in and missed an exam were just pouring out. It’s like a floodgate of fucks had opened and everyone was going to drown.
LINK TO HILARIOUS GIF UNTIL I CAN RESIZE IT
There is good news. Sort of. I still have one word left that I have never said. It’s the C-word. No, not crap; the really bad C-word. I think it’s a mean word for vagina. I’m not even going to type it but I’m sure you guys know what I’m talking about. It doesn’t have the same effect as fuck does, but if I ever get my leg cut off, it will have to do.
it liiiiiiiiiiives!Posted on August 16th, 2011 @ 3:07 am
The operation was a success! There were a few problems along the way, but we were able to move (most) of the database to the new server. For some reason we lost a ton of images…so I’ll be going back and fixing that over the next couple of days. If you come across anything else that is broken just comment here or shoot me an email.
And I’m sure you noticed, there is a new layout! I tried making my own again and got really frustrated (if anyone logged in during that fiasco…I apologize) so for now I’ll be using this super cute autumn theme. I’ll be customizing it in the future. Be excited.
Anyway, regular posts will resume soon. Thanks for sticking around.
ok soPosted on August 4th, 2011 @ 11:40 pm
Lots of things are going to be happening in the next few days! Because we’ve been experiencing so much downtime I’m going to be changing servers. Hopefully I won’t lose anything…and then when that’s done I will be setting up my new layout!
Yes, that’s right! A WIDER COLUMN IS COMING. Get excited. But it will be messy until I get it right so hang with me, folks.
Um…yeah. That’s about it. I have a new post ready to go live but the images are too wide to post until I have the new layout done. So you will have to wait a bit longer! Here is a little teaser though: IT’S MY FIRST GIF OMG.
That’s all. ♥ Thank you for your patience, loves.
non-funny updatesPosted on July 19th, 2011 @ 11:23 pm
Hello faithful readers! ♥ I thought you guys deserved a little update, so here goes.
First, I know my website keeps dying. I really don’t know why it keeps happening, but restarting the server needs to fix it. It’s just a matter of me realizing that it’s down. So if you see it’s down help me out! Send me an email saying HEY AMANDA YOUR BLAG IS DEAD. And I’ll fix it. firstname.lastname@example.org
Ok. I also had surgery on Friday. It went well. In fact, my doctor said mine were the best results he’s ever gotten. But….fuck. I hurt. Everything hurts. But I’m also numb. And itchy. It doesn’t even make sense. How can I be numb when it hurts like tits? I can’t explain it. But it sucks. And I’m out of my beautiful, amazing pain pills. My doctor is afraid I’ll get addicted…which I already am so that shouldn’t matter. GIVE ME MOREEEEEE.
I’m thinking of making a new layout soon. So don’t freak out if you happen upon a half-finished mess of a website. I got it under control!
Oh. And my birthday was on Sunday. It was bad.
That’s enough updates for now! Keep reading and tell all your friends ♥