Hey everyone. I’m basically the worst blog owner ever. Don’t kill me. The last few weeks I’ve been crazy studying for the GREs…emphasis on crazy. I’m losing my mind. It’s disgusting how much work I have been doing. Anyway I took them today and they are done. I don’t even care that I didn’t do as well as I hoped. It’s done…for now.

ANYWAYS. To get back into the swing of things I thought I would share something weird I saw a few weeks ago.

It was a totally normal day and I was sitting on the bus on my way to class when I notice this old lady sitting across from me. Normally old ladies don’t catch my eye, but she had this giant black purse with a big pink playboy bunny on it. I was intrigued; I had to examine her further.

The next thing I noticed was her book. She was reading a nice little old lady book called “Serial Killers”. That’s interesting….oh, and she was reading it backwards. No, not upside down. She was holding it properly – but she was turning the pages from left to right. She wasn’t really looking at it either. I guess she wanted people to think she was reading it so she could creepily stare without garnering too much attention (but failing miserably).

So far this lady is pretty strange. But whatever…it’s not too far out of the ordinary. Yet.

In preparation for departure, she put her book in her playboy purse…and that’s when I noticed it. She had a little metal box thing attached to the front of her shirt. It was about 4 or 5 inches wide and tall and it had this handle thing sticking out of it. The stick was spring loaded and there were 6 slots it could be pushed back and forth into. They were labeled D, R, N, 1, 2 and P. It looked like this.

I stared at it for the longest time trying to figure out what the fuck that thing was…and then it hit me. IT WAS A GEAR SHIFTER. After she got up, she actually shifted the stick into drive before walking off the bus.

WHAT?? I sat there in awe. What the FUCK did I just see? And then it hit me…again.

SHE WAS A ROBOT ALIEN. Think about it: she looked human, but didn’t quite act like one. And, you know, the whole transmission thing. Clearly alien robots are infiltrating our bus systems and observing us in our natural habitat. By creepily spying over their serial killer books.

Seriously though. Robot aliens are in Tompkins County. Spread the word.